AskBronny Blog

There’s a definite feeling in the air when you’re at shopping sales. In this case the occasion is Boxing Day and the location is by far the most sought after, Chadstone.

I’m not quite sure that I like the feeling (there’s enough anxiety, desperation, disappointment and frenzy on Christmas Day without needing it enter my zone on a retail therapy mission) but every year I throw myself into the craziness that is trying to buy what you don’t really need just because the price tag has been lowered to a figure you see fit (or that it should have originally been priced had the shop not been greedy).  

Waking up out of a heavy sleep brought on by a stomach filled with unnecessary second and third helpings of pudding, I figured there was nothing else better to do with my Boxing day then spend it as per usual with 50 million chaotic strangers in a sales filled shopping centre.  

This year I was after a few things, generally I prefer to have a list, so I knew where to go and what I didn’t need to buy or see. I wanted to change something I was given for Christmas (don’t we all?), see if that dress I’d been eyeing off for months had been reduced and due to the amount of clothes I’d bought in pre-Christmas sales I needed some coat hangers. Forget slashed televisions and electronics, I was only leaving my warm bed to purchase essentials.

I started off pretty poorly. After stealing a DVD I was after out of a somewhat abandoned trolley I made my first excessive purchase. Followed by a Gwen Stefani animal print overnight bag. And a pair of wedge heels. And a pair of chandelier earrings.

There was plenty more I could have bought and pretended to justify but there’s always something in the back of my mind at Boxing Day. Do I buy this now or wait and see if the price goes down even further at the New Year’s Day sales? I have the worst luck in that respect. After something I’ve bought has only just settled into my closet I find it with a red price sale sticker or in a discount bin so much so I now don’t go back to stores I’ve purchased from for at least a month so I don’t kick myself. I couldn’t help buying a gold and diamante costume bracelet though, there’s no way that gorgeous baby could be left a week later!

I was quite annoyed at myself for veering off track, we’re all lucky I don’t operate heavy machinery for a living, but that was nothing compared to how frustrated I was and always am with the spectacularly stupid shoppers who decide to ruin my experience each year.

I’m all up for fight, believe me if you mess with something I’m after you’re a dead man, but really folks, do you have to snatch singlet tops out of people’s hands like you’re trying to acquire canned food for another Y2K bug scare? Didn’t think so. And another thing. Do you really need to buy Christmas plates, serviettes and bonbons when the day doesn’t roll around for another year? Exactly. Oh, and to the woman who stood on my open toed sandals and in the process bruised the entire top of my foot, Santa certainly won’t be visiting you next year!

I could go on with a list of misbehaved shopper ways (don’t scan twenty items at a price point when there are just as many people lined up behind you) but after all I’m sure there are things I do when sales shopping that annoy the hoards around me. Like finding a car space. Without fail I never have to circle the car park.

L'Oreal Melbourne Fashion Week has been crazy to say the least. Crazy because of all the events and running around and crazy just because I'm there. Have you ever had a dream, a really wild, imaginative dream that you never thought would come true? Well imagine it does and you'll kind of understand how I've been feeling. It has been my dream for my whole life so far to be in the front rows of fashion week and this week I have been.

I've been seeing all of my favourite designers parade their new collections sitting in priority seating next to celebs, designers and writers who I admire. Don't think the scenario is wasted on me, I was literally pinching myself at my first show and am still amazed to be there. I have to admit, I do work really hard and now thanks to my column I am getting my name out there a bit more but I still feel like I don't deserve to be there…especially when I'm sitting next to fashion writers like Rachel Wells whose work I have to read every Sunday morning despite whether I have a massive hangover or not.

There I am, little old me, Michaela Skilney, in my $30 dress and $50 shoes (swear to god!) sitting alongside Natalie Basingthwaite and Peter Morrissey. My first parade was L'Oreal Runway 1 featuring Alice McCall, Camilla and Marc, Kirrily Johnston, Marnie Skillings, Tina Kalivas and Toni Maticevski. The designers had been grouped together as the themes of their collections were quite similar. Almost all of them based their designs around the 60’s mode look with mini dresses, short and long sleeved, teamed with long sleeve skivvy’s, stockings and chunky platform heels. It’s a cute look which most of us can pull off and saves us going out and buying a whole new winter wardrobe Simply update your summer dress with a new pair of shoes and hosiery! The following day my best friend and I went to see Esprit's Skywalk. She's the Esprit store manager at Southland and seeings as she gives me 50% off all my purchases there I thought it was only fair to return the favour with a free ticket and lots of champagne!

If you didn't see any shots in the media of the event you probably won't believe it but models actually walked in the sky! They walked headfirst on cables down the tower in the middle of Melbourne Central in Esprit gear, the most ingenious runway I have seen so far and a great collection of easy to wear casual gear too. They have the cutest grey long sleeved knit you can wear with leggings, or ambitiously without…and when you get it half price it’s even better right? That night I saw two more L'Oreal Runway parades. The first showed new collections form Anna Thomas, Christine, Fleur Wood, Kate Sylvester, Mad Cortes, Martin Grant, TL Wood and Willow while the second parade astounded me with collections from Bettina Liano, Roger Grinstead, Morrissey, Nevanka, Su, White Suede and Alannah Hill.

Keep you eye on label Nevanka. Their collection was sugar sweet and refreshing. Coloured skivvy's in pinks or lilacs teamed with satin floral print dresses were sent down the runway on models who were holding Hessian bags filled with fresh flowers. An adorable concept and the floral fabric platform shoes by Lula were just as cute. Morrissey had a beautiful black and white floral patterned long sleeve dress I have to get my hands on and Bettina Liano had some gorgeous cream wool items I want to snuggle up in.

Alannah Hill, have I mentioned to you how much of a huge fan I am? Her collection was gorgeous and feminie as always with surprisingly, quite a bit of black. Her runway appearance turned into a Broadway show with atleast 20 young girls dressed in black dresses with dark wigs and bowler hats tap-dancing at the end. I will certainly be tap, tap, tapping my way into Alannah Hill this winter! As high couture as Australia is going to get were the designs from Aurelio Costarella, Gwendolynne, Richard Nylon, Jayson Brundson, Lisa Ho, Nicola Finetti and Wayne Cooper on the L'Oreal Paris Runway 6.

Gwendolynne's huge collection of cream lace ethereal creations completely blew me away and were incredible stunning and Jayson Brundson's tie shouldered dresses in white are at the top of my shopping list. The craziest and most imaginative collection for the whole week would have to be milliner Richard Nylon's, a constellation inspired collection of wire and diamante star headpieces worn on scantily clad models. That's what fashion is all about, being fun!

Sass & Bide was my last L'Oreal show and boy, it was an amazing show in true Sass & Bide fashion. Sure, the collection of singlets and mini's probably aren't very appropriate in Winter but no doubt girls will be sporting their look anyway. The show opened with a hot young 20 something guy dressed in street gear who sang opera and it just got better from there! Their metallic leggings were my fave teamed with tanks and boots. You need a body like Mischa Barton to pull the look off though so I think I’ll stick to my winter dresses and tights!

Looking at the iconic nature of celebrity is nothing new to consider. We are fascinated and captivated by the lives celebrities’ lead which for most of us are unimaginable. Without knowing why we’ve placed them up on a pedestal and without a doubt each of us could list a musician, actor or artist who has been influential over how we dress, think and want to be.But it is not just single celebrities that have shaped the way we are. Having examined the last fifty years, what most of us wouldn’t consider is just how much impact a celebrity couple can have. When two people in the public eye become an item their combined popularity and profile can be powerful. These couples’ names become synonymous with one another as we learn to look at them in a new way, as a single entity. They have influence over everyday things such as our personal style and what’s on trend to more substantial standards such as how we want our relationships to be. Our lives, priorities and tastes change over time, just as who we look up to does, and celebrity couples over the years have been a representation of what we like to wear as well as our ideals as a society. Sonny and Cher were the first couple that people looked at as a unit. They had successes individually but once the two of them started tweeting ‘I Got You Babe’ their popularity skyrocketed and all of a sudden they were the couple everyone was envious of. In a time where divorce was finally becoming acceptable to talk about in society, Sonny and Cher gazed into each other’s eyes on camera looking so much in love making both their style and relationship enviable. Soon girls had long straight locks and fake eyelashes like Cher and guys would be walking around in paisley shirts and brown corduroy suits like Sonny. This was the first sign of just how influential a couple could be when the public liked not only them, but their sense of style.
A new double act entered the sphere in the late 60’s and shook up all ideas people had about a traditional couple. Andy Warhol and Edie Sedgwick were eccentric creatures to say the least with fashion alternative to match and represented a new way of underground living where people began to appreciate art house films and anything that contradicted high culture.

Sedgwick was a skinny, androgenous looking girl who became a star in Warhol’s films and as rumour has it, cut her hair short and dyed it silver in homage to her lover. Women began to imitate her look as it was easy to do; cropped hair, sleeveless roll necks and sleek tights topped off with incredibly black eye make-up. Warhol’s look was a little less accessible to the masses but his legacy was far greater then fashion, he dictated what would be fashionable in general. His art, magazine and films had major success all over the world.

She may have been blamed for the demise of The Beatles but whatever was said about her, there’s no denying that once Yoko Ono and John Lennon became an item they had a significant impact on the society. Lennon fell in love with the experimental artist Yoko after they met at one of her exhibitions in London. They soon became inseparable.

Their whole image in terms of style and persona was about peace and love in a time where war was a hot topic. Their ‘Bed-In’ protest campaign to promote peace sparked an international movement where people from around the globe protested not just against the Vietnam War but for equality in general. You’d see them out at these gatherings in all white ensembles with long flowing hair and holding flowers, a look that caught on with other protestors and a look that will forever be associated with that time. Their eccentricities were soon accepted and praised by those that were initially sceptical about Yoko and to date, they’ve remained one of the most talked about couples in recent history.

When Rolling Stones’ rocker Mick Jagger hooked up with Texan born model Jerry Hall in the early 1980’s, no one could have predicted the influence they would have over their 22 year relationship. No one, in fact, thought the relationship would last longer then a nano second as Jagger had an infamous reputation and Hall was engaged to Brian Ferry (until she fell pregnant with Jagger’s baby!)

The larger then life pair are the first couple that come to mind when you discuss relationships between models and rock stars. They had confidence and weren’t afraid to be public about their relationship but most of all they oozed sex appeal. Separately they were sexy enough but when put together they were a damn hot couple. They had an over red carpet style that would see Jagger in coloured suits and black sunglasses while Hall would wear figure hugging dresses, jewellery to the max and long blonde hair tousled over her shoulders.  

Madonna and Sean Penn became another ‘it’ couple of the 80’s and as the two of them were so successful in their own fields of acting and singing, it was inevitable that public couldn’t get enough of their pairing. Just as ‘Like a Virgin’ hit Number 1 in America, the two decided to wed and their 1985 nuptials were the biggest spectacle Hollywood had ever seen. Helicopters flew overhead while Penn responded to the ruckus by carving out ‘F-Off’ in giant letters on the sand below their cliff top ceremony.

People were also interested in their look as a couple. Here was Madonna, a tiny blonde pop star wearing white lace with a dark clothed in-and-out-of-jail Sean Penn. From the beginning the press deemed their relationship to be doomed but that didn’t deter fans from dressing like either of them during their marriage.  

In the early 90’s a young British model and an American bad boy movie star became an item and caused a complete media and social buzz. Kate Moss and Johnny Depp began a relationship that saw them walk down red carpets at premieres, attend fashion shows, go to nightclub openings and in the process create a paparazzi frenzy that had never been seen. Forget Paris Hilton, this couple were the first sign of societies insatiable appetite for tabloid gossip.

Before Moss’s appearance was tagged as ‘Heroine Chic’ by the press, Moss and Depp had a unique look that made its own headlines, a look that was just as unlikely as their pairing and just as intriguing. It was a time where grunge music was in its hey day and people wanted an alternative to the norm. Everyone wanted to be like them, they were just plain cool. Girls wanted to look like Moss with her wavy unstyled hair and spot-on fashion sense and guys wanted to look like Depp with his eclectic sense of style and withdrawn attitude.

In contrast to the untouchable nature of Moss and Depp, Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise were a couple that people could identify with and this saw their popularity rise in the mid to late 90’s. They became not only Hollywood’s golden couple but everyone’s favourite couple.

Obviously we know differently now, but at the time they were a couple that stood for stability and tradition. Their long union mixed with clean reputations and careers were a glimmer of hope in a society that was dealing with rising divorce rates and actors who would last all but five minutes in Tinsel Town. They personified love, grace and charm and as they were two of the biggest movie stars, their many public appearances fuelled everyone’s hunger. Kidman, a statuesque porcelain beauty would appear on red carpets in classic, feminine dresses that highlighted her skinny frame while Tom was a heartthrob who wore tailored suits and had plenty of charm.

In the naughties we are finding ourselves in a new era in which celebrity is much more accessible then it has been in the past. Reality TV means anyone can now have more then just their fifteen minutes of fame and anyone can be transformed into a pop singer over night. The young hot Hollywood phenomena we’re obsessed with has created stars out of socialites and attractive young rich kids. There are so many celebrities around that for the most part we can’t keep up!

Jennifer Lopez and Puff Daddy stand out for being the most high profile hip-hop relationship we’ve ever seen this decade and Sienna Miller’s relationship with Jude Law was one that we couldn’t get enough and who can leave out Victoria and David Beckham, a truly fashionable couple who lives a life of pure opulence. But the true test of an iconic couple is the test of time. It’ll be a few decades before we can decide whether metrosexual Becks and stick thin Posh contributed more to society then matching fragrances.

Long time no entry I know. Why the tardiness you ask? Aside from the fact that work has been crazy (it’s hard work being a professional shopper you know!), I’ve also just returned from overseas.

I was bitten by the travel bug some time ago and ever since I have an insatiable appetite for travel quite like I have for overly expensive shoes. I’ve seen a bit of Asia and travelled throughout America but I was yet to do Europe and was finding that if I didn’t get it out of my system I was going to explode (and who wants to split their new jeans?)

My first stop was Holland. Of course I made it to Amsterdam (that gingerbread I bought off that strange man had a surprising effect) but also went to Arnhem and Maastricht. All I can say is that if you have any slight self-esteem issues it’s best to stay away! Ok that’s a little extreme but seriously the men and women in Holland are the most attractive bunch of people and most fabulous dressers I’ve ever seen. Both the men and women are at least 6 foot tall, have perfectly straight white teeth, all ride bikes everywhere so have killer bodies and when it comes to clothes, that have it down pat. The women look like they’ve stepped out of a magazine spread and the guys could all pass as Calvin models. It’s no surprise then that Holland had some amazing fashion stores. It’s impossible to know what size you are thanks to their crazy 30 and up system so my advice is to just grab a whole bunch of stuff and head for the change rooms. This is particularly important when you enter a department store like H&M where there are constant sales and as a result constant girl-rushes for the what’s on the racks.

Holland effort: I bought 3 dresses and 1 handbag in Holland.

Next stop was Belgium. I stayed in Brussels and Brugge and absolutely loved it there. Brussels in particular is really cool with fantastic murals and street art everywhere including my favourite cartoon of all time, Tin Tin! Shopping there isn’t so much about fashion as it is about antiques and art so I didn’t accumulate anything aside from about 10kg of chocolate that I can’t even look at anymore. If anyone has been to Belgium they’ll totally understand. You go there thinking how amazing the chocolate and waffles are going to be but after you’ve seen every second shop selling them and they’re the last thing you smell before you go to sleep at night you never want to touch them again. Note to self, when I need to kill my chocolate cravings head back to Belgium!

The absolute highlight of my trip whether it is cliché to say it or not was most definitely gay Pari. Seeing Carrie Bradshaw on that balcony in Sex & The City was the final straw for me and since then I have really made an effort to save and get there (and save for my shopping once I got there!) Everything is so beautiful and unlike anything we have in Australia. The buildings, the gorgeous river Seine, the food, the people, there’s just so much to love and just so much to want to stay there forever for.

Arriving in Paris was a dream come true so much so I almost cried when I saw the Eiffel Tower as I was driven to my hotel. I watched Funny Face as a kid (only the best film Audrey Hepburn ever made) and couldn’t wait to see all the attractions like the Eiffel, Arc De Triomphe, Champs Elysses, Sacre Coeur, Monmatre, Galerie Lafayette…Yes you read right, Galerie Lafayette was high up on my to-do list next to Notre Dame and the Moulin Rouge. It really is more of a tourist attraction then an actual department store. Just as when visiting the Louvre I knew I would never be able to afford a Leonardo, I knew as soon as I entered Lafayette I would never be able to afford a Galliano. The five or so storey building is so ornate on the inside with an amazing glass ceiling and a white Eiffel Tower hung upside down. After drooling over Dolce I went to somewhere a little more my speed, a fabulous Parisian flea market where I betted my English eyes and convinced a poor Frenchmen I’d chosen 3 vintage dresses off a 5 euro rack when in fact they were 15 euro each.

Paris effort: I bought 1 handbag, 3 vintage dresses, 1 brand spanking new one and a pair of shoes.

I think I was far to optimistic about what the weather would be like in London. I knew it was the rainiest year on record yet I still imagined I’d be splashing round in a pond under the sunny skies of Hyde Park before dancing around the famous Peter Pan statue. Hmm, not so much as a sliver of sun came through the clouds during my stay but hey, that’s what Harrods is for! Harrods is what I can only describe as an indoor museum for all things shopping related. It’s far too simple to call it a department store, it’s much more then that! Heaven perhaps?!

Then there’s of course Notting Hill and Portobello Road (please take Petticoat Lane off your lists, absolute letdown.) After you’ve finished looking for Hugh Grant in the leafy streets of Notting Hill head to Portobello Road markets, the best market I have ever seen in my life. The massively long street, at least a few km’s, is covered either side with stalls and little stores selling everything from antiques and knick knacks to vintage clothing, jewellery and emerging designer pieces (Sass&Bide got their start there.) There is so much to see and so many people, the atmosphere is electric. Like a deer in the headlights I was so shocked by the place I didn’t know where to start and as the day was coming to an end with no purchases in hand I felt a little depressed. Then, as if it had read my mind, a vintage clothing store popped out of nowhere with a signed photo of none other then my favourite singer of all time, Madonna! The exclusive store requires you to ring a bell before entering and once you are let inside by its owner your eyes are on stalks. Saturday Night Fever meets Olivia Newton John meets The Supremes meets Sienna Miller. Absolute heaven. And knowing that Madonna had bought tons of gear in their for the promo tour of her Confessions album and the possibility of her touching all the racks in store made it possible for me to justify spending quite a few pounds on a black disco dress.

London effort: 1 vintage dress, 1 handbag, 1 leather jacket, 1 black trench and a partridge in a pear tree!

Overall my shopping, I mean sightseeing trip of Europe was amazing. As I sit here back in the bleak Melbourne weather I’m romanticising the idea of packing up with belongings and setting up a little home under the Eiffel Tower. I’m still bitten by the bug, I wish I wasn’t. All I can think about is getting back on a plane and visiting some far away land where the weather is warm and the shopping is preferably tax free. 2 jackets, 1 pair of shoes, 3 handbags and 8 dresses has left my bank account dry! Oh and the Red Light district in Amsterdam you ask? As I always say, g-strings don’t flatter anyone particularly if you’re a large pregnant 50 year old.

There are people who like shoes, there are people who even love shoes, and then there's me. I'm what you call crazily obsessed. But not in a good, funny, 'I own 100 pairs' ha ha kind of way. My life scarily revolves around my next shoe purchase and it's almost haunting. 

So this is how it usually goes.  

I am on a lunch break or am working (writing a shopping column is the ultimate clothing-addicts hazard) and am not suppose to be buying when bang, I see a pair of shoes I just have to have. They're usually inappropriate for day wear, usually too expensive to mention and sometimes, depending on the label or just how divine they are, may have a iridescent halo hanging above them. Then that's it, a bomb goes off in my brain and I begin to have a fashion freak out (this is where the crazily obsessed part comes in.) 

I literally can't sleep, eat or rest until I own them. I lie in bed awake with anxiety that they will sell out, 'Should I call the store to check they can put them aside even though it's 11:30pm?' They consume my thoughts and make it impossible to write, they tauntingly appear on the feet of people I see in the street to even further fuel my desire; they literally control my psyche until I have them on my shoe rack.  

Some people are born with the gift to be a psychic or to see ghosts, I was born with the peril of being a shoe-a-holic. (And yes, just in case you're wondering I do unfortunately have 100 pairs of shoes!) 

So you would imagine my trepidation to attend Nine West's Winter 20007 collection launch at the Metropol last week but a free ticket is a free ticket, I had to go! Plus when you are able to get some for your friends that makes the deal even sweeter, I mean, what's the point of going to a fashion event if you have no one to bag the models with? 

So my besties and I arrive to a red carpet lined with boys dressed in yo-de-lay-ee Switzerland outfits taking our pics and making us feel like celebs. It would have worked well if there wasn't an imitation snow blower pumping out polystyrene chips into our hair and carefully planned outfits. Great photo op! The free food, alcahol and goody bags were great, it's not often you get samosa's and large spring rolls at a fashion event. As a friend of mine says to when you want to look fabulous 'eating is cheating'!  

Stuffing our faces we watched the parade. Or should I say 'I' watched the parade and my friends conferred over one particular model that walked with a pirate's limp and was one step away from being in an eating disorder clinic. The clothes looked terrible on her and her walking certainly did nothing to how off the shoes, I'm guessing she was a friend of a friend of a friend of the event planners who desperately begged them to make her runway debut.  

Cleaning spring roll pastry out of our teeth my friends and I had our pic snapped for the local paper which, sounding very superficial, was probably the highlight of our night! Who doesn't love to look at those social pages and see who's who and what they're wearing? It will be totally hilarious to see ourselves among that lot! As I said earlier, it's fun to go to a fashion event but when you have people to share the experience with.  

So the shoes you ask? Nothing spesh. Winter is all about ankle boots, black and patent leather, all of which I love I might add but it was just too predictable. I don't know quite what I was expecting too see, maybe silver pewter boots that go over the knee a-la-Barbarella? Just in case you're wondering, none of them had a halo thank god.

I suppose, as this is my first entry, I should probably tell you a bit about myself right? My name's Michaela Skilney, I live in Melbourne Australia, I'm 22 and I'm an alcaholic…only kidding, but this is starting to sound like an AA meeting! Basically I love fashion and I love writing and I'm so lucky that I get to combine those two loves when I work.

Being a freelance fashion writer has allowed my to interview some cool designers, write about and commentate on what's happening in the world of fashion and best of all, has allowed me to work from home most of the time in ever comfort of my p-jay's. (A girl can only wear high heels and couture so much before she just wants her flannelette.) At the moment I'm freelancing for some fashion mags but my main stint is writing a shopping column for Fairfax. I get to shop, write about interesting new products and stores and get paid to do it (put down the dagger please.)

Last week I went to the official launch of L'Oreal Melbourne Fashion Week and being your fashion insider I'll thought I'd fill you in on what went on.

It was a crazy week and to be honest I had no idea what I was going to when I got the invite. All I knew it was something to do with Fashion Week and was something to do with L'Oreal…make-up goody bags are the best incentives! Upon arrival I learnt it was the press launch for L'Oreal Melbourne Fashion Week 07 which will be help in March and the crowd basically consisted of media, people the organisers wanted to inform early so they would properly cover the event for them.

Everything was set up in the grounds outside the new Melbourne Museum with a catwalk, presenters stage, mass group of camera crew, coffee stand a-la-train-station-style, a L'Oreal stand (bingo!) and a bar (a bar during the day you say? Bummer. No champs, just water and softies.)

Now to the people, fashion breeds wannabe's and therefore people-watching at a place like this can entertain you for hours.

It was like a sea of flamingo. Everyone was gathered together outside the Museum, all tarted up, all ruffling their feathers trying to make the best impressions and trying to look the best but in the end, all the fashionista' looked the same. Everyone was sporting the latest fashion with perfect hair and accessories. FYI- Dresses and wedge heels were the outfit of choice. Me - A denim dress, peach shrug, gold jewellery and you guessed it, peach and gold wedges. So there I was, a flamingo among flamingos but at least I knew I was one. (To tell you the truth, if you really want to stand out at an event like don't dress in the hippest, trendiest gear, wearing something a few seasons old will guarantee that all eyes are on you!)

I realised very quickly in this industry that the people who attend these sorts of things can be categorised into a few groups. Being your insider I thought I would share this information with you as a way to help you decide who you want to hang with if you find yourself in my shoes:

High Flyer's
These are the people at the top of the pack and those that still give me goose bumps. This group is usually made up of fashion designers who are the faces of the event or have been paid a lot of money to be there and make it look as thought they are in support of the event, celebrities (A and B-grade) who've been invited to make the place look good, hosts and spokespeople who are well known and Government representatives who quite frankly are a waste of an invite unless they're as cool as our Melbourne Major John So. Unless you feel you really have to, don't speak to high flyer's at an event as they a) have a gazillion things to do there or a gazillion people they need to speak to, and b) you will probably make a fool of yourself stumbling on words and going bright red with nerves as you are potentially speaking to someone you never thought you would get the chance to meet in your life. (My advice is to view them from afar, preferably with an inbuilt camera phone to snap away and make precious footage to show your family and friends as let's face it, part of the beauty of going to a place such as this is to make all your friends jealous!)

Media Hoard
These are people invited to the launch of an event who the organisers hope will write about and publicise the event for them in magazines, on television or in newspapers. In this category you will find yours truly. You will also find underweight PR women who wish they were models and are going the right way about ending up in an eating disorder ward alongside real catwalk queens. You will find hard hitting news journalists who have been sent there by their superiors but who think fashion is frivolous and degrading and who wish they were anywhere else but surrounded by people who would pay $1,000 for a pair of shoes when they could invest it in their local political party. You will also find veteran fashion reporters who have inspired me to become a fashion commentator but who, at the same time as I respect them, aren't aging very well and should probably retire before people forget how beautiful and youthful they used to be (or alternatively if they could shop around for a good surgeon.)

Hangers On
These are the people who have come with someone they know who is meant to be there, come with a free ticket from someone they know who was meant to be there but couldn't be there, or have just snuck into the event. They are completely absorbed in the world of fashion but don't work in it and therefore think it is all fashion parades and models and freebies. They probably spent a whole week coming up with their outfit and if they're a seasoned fashion event crasher they will probably have spent quite a lot of money and time scouring fashion magazine's and designer racks picking the perfect ensemble (which is pretty much wasted when they mix in with the flamingo's) They are known to giggle and get drunk on free champagne very quickly but most of all, they are kinda cute. They want so much to be in our shoes and that can be very flattering and again, kina cute.
 
Workers
These are the people you really want to befriend at an event (especially as there are usually goodie bags made up of products from the sponsors!) These people really are the ones that make the whole show happen and good bless 'em, probably work for peanuts and deserve a lot better (or they could be there like a few of the Media Hoard of Hanger's On; to get the freebies.) This is my favourite bunch, you can be 'real' with them and can have a bitch about who's wearing what and which celeb's with who and know that there's no fear of it getting back to the person you're talking about. Some do the fashion circuit rounds and will often be seen at the same event each year so it's nice to have a friendly face to catch up with. And besides, we all know what it's like o work in the hospitality field and they really don't need any extra crap from us!

So now to the actual event. Boring. Aside form the free latte curtesy of the coffee stand, the free mineral water curtesy of the bar, a free Toblerone chocolate bar (did I mention those before?) and a goody bag (nothing spesh in it by the way) there was nothing exciting happening at all. That is until I rubbed shoulders with God. God being girlie fashion designer Alannah Hill.

Have you ever seen those shots in a movie where the protagonist has a revolutionary thought or is confronted with something major and there is a close up of their face and the vision behind goes a little trippy? Just like a scene from the movie of my life, that is how I would have looked to everyone around me when I saw Miss. Hill. She is my favourite Aussie designer and I have loved her and her work since I was about 10. Needless to say when I saw her I was more of a Hanger On then a Media Hoard.

She was wearing a black skirt with tan floral print, a black (cashmere I'm guessing) cardy with thin patent leather belt around her tiny waist, big hair with signature red flower to match her lips and a cute-as black clutch. I was star struck.

She was about 2 metres in front of me and all of a sudden she was gone. I blink for like, a nano second, and God has disappeared. I reached into my bag to get my mobile phone to discretely call my Mum (so a Hanger On!) and I kid you not, who resurfaces and stands next to me. Miss Hill!

"Keep your cool loser, keep your cool loser", I chanted in my mind. She looked at me and we both smiled as you do when you are trying to be polite and then we both turned to the stage and listened to some drab talking about how great Fashion Week would be. The whole time my heart was racing and I couldn't believe who was standing next to me. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and her clothing, how I would rather not eat for a week then not be able to buy her stuff, that I was such a big fan.

Thank goodness for sunnies. I was able to peer out of the corner of my eye and watch her without her noticing and did this as a friend of hers approached her and handed her a mineral water.

So there I was, literally standing next to the fashion designer I have hailed and put on a pedestal for so long - how lucky was I. The journey had only just begun.