AskBronny Blog

Long time no entry I know. Why the tardiness you ask? Aside from the fact that work has been crazy (it’s hard work being a professional shopper you know!), I’ve also just returned from overseas.

I was bitten by the travel bug some time ago and ever since I have an insatiable appetite for travel quite like I have for overly expensive shoes. I’ve seen a bit of Asia and travelled throughout America but I was yet to do Europe and was finding that if I didn’t get it out of my system I was going to explode (and who wants to split their new jeans?)

My first stop was Holland. Of course I made it to Amsterdam (that gingerbread I bought off that strange man had a surprising effect) but also went to Arnhem and Maastricht. All I can say is that if you have any slight self-esteem issues it’s best to stay away! Ok that’s a little extreme but seriously the men and women in Holland are the most attractive bunch of people and most fabulous dressers I’ve ever seen. Both the men and women are at least 6 foot tall, have perfectly straight white teeth, all ride bikes everywhere so have killer bodies and when it comes to clothes, that have it down pat. The women look like they’ve stepped out of a magazine spread and the guys could all pass as Calvin models. It’s no surprise then that Holland had some amazing fashion stores. It’s impossible to know what size you are thanks to their crazy 30 and up system so my advice is to just grab a whole bunch of stuff and head for the change rooms. This is particularly important when you enter a department store like H&M where there are constant sales and as a result constant girl-rushes for the what’s on the racks.

Holland effort: I bought 3 dresses and 1 handbag in Holland.

Next stop was Belgium. I stayed in Brussels and Brugge and absolutely loved it there. Brussels in particular is really cool with fantastic murals and street art everywhere including my favourite cartoon of all time, Tin Tin! Shopping there isn’t so much about fashion as it is about antiques and art so I didn’t accumulate anything aside from about 10kg of chocolate that I can’t even look at anymore. If anyone has been to Belgium they’ll totally understand. You go there thinking how amazing the chocolate and waffles are going to be but after you’ve seen every second shop selling them and they’re the last thing you smell before you go to sleep at night you never want to touch them again. Note to self, when I need to kill my chocolate cravings head back to Belgium!

The absolute highlight of my trip whether it is cliché to say it or not was most definitely gay Pari. Seeing Carrie Bradshaw on that balcony in Sex & The City was the final straw for me and since then I have really made an effort to save and get there (and save for my shopping once I got there!) Everything is so beautiful and unlike anything we have in Australia. The buildings, the gorgeous river Seine, the food, the people, there’s just so much to love and just so much to want to stay there forever for.

Arriving in Paris was a dream come true so much so I almost cried when I saw the Eiffel Tower as I was driven to my hotel. I watched Funny Face as a kid (only the best film Audrey Hepburn ever made) and couldn’t wait to see all the attractions like the Eiffel, Arc De Triomphe, Champs Elysses, Sacre Coeur, Monmatre, Galerie Lafayette…Yes you read right, Galerie Lafayette was high up on my to-do list next to Notre Dame and the Moulin Rouge. It really is more of a tourist attraction then an actual department store. Just as when visiting the Louvre I knew I would never be able to afford a Leonardo, I knew as soon as I entered Lafayette I would never be able to afford a Galliano. The five or so storey building is so ornate on the inside with an amazing glass ceiling and a white Eiffel Tower hung upside down. After drooling over Dolce I went to somewhere a little more my speed, a fabulous Parisian flea market where I betted my English eyes and convinced a poor Frenchmen I’d chosen 3 vintage dresses off a 5 euro rack when in fact they were 15 euro each.

Paris effort: I bought 1 handbag, 3 vintage dresses, 1 brand spanking new one and a pair of shoes.

I think I was far to optimistic about what the weather would be like in London. I knew it was the rainiest year on record yet I still imagined I’d be splashing round in a pond under the sunny skies of Hyde Park before dancing around the famous Peter Pan statue. Hmm, not so much as a sliver of sun came through the clouds during my stay but hey, that’s what Harrods is for! Harrods is what I can only describe as an indoor museum for all things shopping related. It’s far too simple to call it a department store, it’s much more then that! Heaven perhaps?!

Then there’s of course Notting Hill and Portobello Road (please take Petticoat Lane off your lists, absolute letdown.) After you’ve finished looking for Hugh Grant in the leafy streets of Notting Hill head to Portobello Road markets, the best market I have ever seen in my life. The massively long street, at least a few km’s, is covered either side with stalls and little stores selling everything from antiques and knick knacks to vintage clothing, jewellery and emerging designer pieces (Sass&Bide got their start there.) There is so much to see and so many people, the atmosphere is electric. Like a deer in the headlights I was so shocked by the place I didn’t know where to start and as the day was coming to an end with no purchases in hand I felt a little depressed. Then, as if it had read my mind, a vintage clothing store popped out of nowhere with a signed photo of none other then my favourite singer of all time, Madonna! The exclusive store requires you to ring a bell before entering and once you are let inside by its owner your eyes are on stalks. Saturday Night Fever meets Olivia Newton John meets The Supremes meets Sienna Miller. Absolute heaven. And knowing that Madonna had bought tons of gear in their for the promo tour of her Confessions album and the possibility of her touching all the racks in store made it possible for me to justify spending quite a few pounds on a black disco dress.

London effort: 1 vintage dress, 1 handbag, 1 leather jacket, 1 black trench and a partridge in a pear tree!

Overall my shopping, I mean sightseeing trip of Europe was amazing. As I sit here back in the bleak Melbourne weather I’m romanticising the idea of packing up with belongings and setting up a little home under the Eiffel Tower. I’m still bitten by the bug, I wish I wasn’t. All I can think about is getting back on a plane and visiting some far away land where the weather is warm and the shopping is preferably tax free. 2 jackets, 1 pair of shoes, 3 handbags and 8 dresses has left my bank account dry! Oh and the Red Light district in Amsterdam you ask? As I always say, g-strings don’t flatter anyone particularly if you’re a large pregnant 50 year old.