Fashion - Oops!

Everyone has experienced a wardrobe malfunction at some stage. These incidents can be mortifying, evening ruining and can potentially result in you never again daring to put on what used to be your favourite party outfit. Basically, they suck. And possibly the worst part is, they can strike at any time.

I remember chilling out on the grass between classes whilst at uni with a friend, when suddenly one of her boobs was out for the world to see. And who can ever forget the Janet Jackson / Justin Timberlake Super Bowl scenario where she flashed the entire planet? Publicity stunt or not, it was put down to a wardrobe malfunction, and proves that even celebrities can’t escape.

There are a few key ways to avoid a debasing wardrobe malfunction experience. AskBronny has put together a handy top three so we can all (hopefully) avoid public fashion humiliation.

1. Correct Sizes
Firstly, and this is complete common sense really, wear the right size! Squeezing yourself into an extra small, extra tight singlet because it gives you extra cleavage can result in the general public getting an eyeful of a lot more than just that! Outfits that are too small are much more likely to end up embarrassing you. Whether your boobs wiggle their way out of your tiny top, or the crew down at the local coffee shop get a good look at your ass in your teensy mini skirt, chances are something is likely to give.

And for those of us who have syphoned ourselves into dresses that don’t give an inch, you end up spending the rest of the day breathing like you are in a prenatal class. Although not as bad as your co-workers seeing your ass cheeks as you leave the room, the likelihood of busting a zip or even splitting something somewhere terrible is greatly increased. And I imagine the only thing worse than your colleagues seeing some of your butt, is them seeing all of it.

2. Hollywood Tape Rules
Secondly, invest in Hollywood tape or model glue! Just because you have a great set of boobs doesn’t mean they are going to politely stay in place when you are clubbing wearing only two strips of strategically placed fabric. In fact, the more you have to show off, the more your boobs are going to be dancing to their own beat as you shake your thang on the dance floor. As great as they look when you’re standing still, even the most breast addicted man doesn’t like to see them all over the shop as you walk towards him.

So, tape them up. Simple. They stay attached to your dress, your dress moves with you and you avoid having to tuck yourself back in at the most inopportune of times. The same issues arise with completely impractical but fabulous bathing costumes. Unless you are planning to just lie in the sun and look glamorous, invest in some fashion glue. If models need to stick bathers to their bums just to walk down a runway, how do you expect your barely there two piece to hold up in crashing surf?

3. Instant Fixes
And finally, embrace your inner McGyver! Sometimes a wardrobe malfunction calls for instant action. Whether you carry a tiny sewing kit with you, or a stash of mini safety pins, you need to be able to act on your feet. This fashion business can be dangerous! In emergencies such as ladders in stockings before an important meeting, I have resorted to colouring in my legs. This trick also works especially well for shoes that possibly got scuffed when you were last out partying.

I also very recently had the misfortune of breaking my favourite pair of casual shoes on the way to an electronic music festival. (I hope you all got the significance there that I was ON THE WAY. No, my shoe didn’t break after eight hours of dancing. I hadn’t even made it through the gate.) McGyver Me made a cameo and with some creative flair, I had tied my poor strappy shoe into a whole new style that stayed on my dancing feet for the whole day and night.

Regardless of how prepared you may be wardrobe malfunctions do happen. And of course they happen at the worst possible time, in the worst possible place. But with some prior planning, a little common sense and a willingness to think outside the square, your wardrobe malfunctions can be kept to a minimum. After all that, if they do happen, hopefully you will be onto it so fast that no-one else will be any the wiser!