Fashion Hurts

I learned recently that fashion does not allow for injury. In fact, fashion can be the cause of injury. At least it was for me. Sort of. Alcohol may have had something to do with it, but I still blame the stilettos really. But the resulting scenario – namely me with a fat ankle comprising highly unattractive colours - has made me think, how can you be fashionable whilst sporting an injury? It also got me thinking about injuries sustained from fashion, and how they can be avoided. It’s not all that easy, and I speak from experience, but AskBronny has a few ideas to help out.

Scenario One: The stiletto stack
Even without one too many cocktails, the precariously high shoes we fashionistas sport can make standing up an effort, let alone walking somewhere, and don’t even mention dancing! As giving up heels is simply not an option for most of us, there are a couple of ways to tackle this problem. The best, and the very smart option, is to take a pair of flats with you on a big night out. Fabulously big handbags make this easy and inconspicuous. Then, when you get too tipsy, or your little tootsies just can’t handle the height anymore, you can swiftly change shoes and it’s unlikely anyone will notice. I, unfortunately, did not swap shoes quickly enough, hence my current state of practically being in traction. Should this unfortunate chain of events occur, the best option is flat, Eskimo style boots. Despite summer weather, these kinds of flat boots can be worn with strapless summer dresses and still look cute and not like you have anything to hide. The positive side for your poor foot (or feet if you’re really unlucky) is that they hide the bulky ankle tape, and still hold your ankle in place. The unavoidable hobble on the other hand, we can’t help with.

Scenario Two: Bra Abrasions
Although not as drastic as the consequences of falling off your stilettos, wearing the wrong bra, or a stick on bra in particular, for too long can result in all sorts of problems. The worst of which is the unsightly and painful welts that can follow too many hours partying it up in the chicken fillets. Similarly to giving up high heels, not wearing a bra is also not an option for many of us. Some can’t go without the support, whilst some of us can’t go without the extra padding. So what’s a gal to do? If sticking to the maximum 6 hour allowance for these things is out of the question, make sure your ritual once at home is designed to minimise impact. Wash your stick ons off rather than just dragging them off from under your dress. Take the time to moisturise your poor chest then and there, and try to avoid clingy clothes for the next couple of days. But, if your fillet filled outfit results in you heading home for a night of passion and you rip those babies off while your conquest is in the bathroom, again, we can’t help, but more power to you!

Scenario Three: Sunburn Factor
Although you may think this scenario isn’t caused by your choice of ensemble, it most certainly is. Spend your days in a mu-mu and its highly unlikely you will end up the colour of a lobster. Opt for the itty bitty bikini and suddenly the odds are stacked against you. Even the most careful of us have felt a bit of a twinge a couple of hours after returning from the beach which leads to the discovery of red blotches, sometimes with finger impressions. These types of markings don’t go away over night, and can severely limit what you’re able to wear for a few days. Firstly, don’t fool yourself into thinking if you leave it alone you’ll just go brown. Although that may happen to the very lucky amongst us, the rest of us need to moisturise. A lot. Keep lathering it on, even after its not so red. This will avoid peeling, which no one wants to see. This type of injury also calls for the not so fitted attire, which during summer can be hard to consider. Go for floaty dresses or camisole style tops and make sure your red patches are kept hidden. Putting your burn on display will only make it worse, or result in everyone thinking you’re a tourist.

Whilst sporting any kind of injury is usually detrimental to your fashion options, it doesn’t make it impossible to look good while you’re hurting. If Megan Gale can bring herself to hit the red carpet sporting an eye patch, surely the rest of us can brave the world in flat shoes and a less than fitted top once in a while.