Dress Me Up

The silly season is upon us and what better way to celebrate is there than to take the saying seriously? Not only is it the season for giving, sharing etc, but it also seems to be the season for a barrage of dress up parties and an excuse to don odd ensembles. Although a bible for all things fashionable, AskBronny is also here to tell you what not to do when it comes to your outfits, and that involves fancy dress.

What got me thinking about this is that on my way to Bondi Junction to try and knock off my Christmas shopping this afternoon, I saw a couple of silly season things. The first was a couple whose night was obviously going to involve a fancy dress party, as they were walking down a main road with swords, rope and ridiculous horned hats. Well, I hope that indicates a fancy dress party, but in Sydney you never can tell really. But regardless, I had a good laugh to myself and carried on. At the next intersection was a pub, and in the front courtyard were two Santas with their schooners. This is when I started to think seriously about the dress up concept.

For years people have tormented us with fancy dress parties, not only demanding we partake in get-ups like pimps and prostitutes, but then usually requiring us to hit the town afterwards. Yes its all a bit of a laugh after a few champagnes, but who can deny the fear upon approaching the fancy dress host’s house, wondering if anyone else has gone to the lengths that you have in looking like a total whore? It’s enough to take you back to Grade 5 Book Week when headed for school dressed like Little Bo Peep put the fear of God into you that you’d got the day wrong. Amazingly, there are a few fail-safe options at fancy dress parties that mean you can attend knowing that a) You look good; and b) If you are forced to hit the town afterwards you won’t completely die of shame.

In typically fashionable AskBronny style, here are the key tips and best suggestions to help you survive the silly season dress up parties.

1. Go as Barbie. She can rate as fancy dress generally, or as a famous person/favourite celeb etc. Wear something tight, pink, go blonde and wear ridiculous heels. Pinch that waist in as much as you can bear and hey presto, you’re a totally famous hottie. It even gives you an excuse to hire a pink convertible for the night, and if you are forced out on the town, what better opening line is there than “Could you be my Ken?”

2. Consider Tomb Raider Lara Croft as an acceptable cartoon character, action hero, movie star, celebrity, Hollywood hero etc. A pair of mini khaki shorts and a matching tight top with a big belt and a long plait. Oh so simple and oh so sexy! You could actually get away with this type of outfit during the day (minus the tomb raider boots and the gun of course) so a night out in this get-up should be no problem at all. Tuck a pair of stilettos in your handbag in case the party migrates to a bar, and you’re sorted. And similarly to suggestion #1, letting guys know you’re Lara Croft for the night is highly likely to do more good than harm!

3. Transform yourself into Marilyn Monroe. How simple, and how simply fabulous. Many of us probably already own a dress or skirt/top ensemble that could pass for her famous over the grate outfit. All you need is killer hair, killer heels and killer make-up and you’ve got it sorted.

Fancy dress can be a whole heap of fun, but those of us who want to make the most of every fashion opportunity could quite possibly have a little problem with going dressed as a carrot or Frankenstein. The prospect of ordering a Cosmopolitan dressed as a chicken also doesn’t sit well with many fashionistas, but fancy dress doesn’t have to equal frightful. With a little bit of planning, and a whole lotta fashion sense AskBronny style, even the silly season won’t have the ability to make you actually look silly.