“Now you’ve all been sitting there relaxed for far too long,” said Trinny Woodall rubbing her hands together as she began to move eagerly. “It’s time for us to take a look at you all.”

It was half way through Trinny and Susannah’s final show in Melbourne concluding a whirlwind week long examination of Australia’s dressers for their Westfield ‘What’s What’ tour.

“Yes!” said Susannah Constantine stepping off the stage set up as a girlie dressing room complete with pink curtains, a movie screen surrounded by light bulbs, a glamorous lounge with antique lamp, racks of stylish clothing and a bench covered in bras, bags and shoes.

As audience members we’d been treated to a performance by singer Amy Pearson, were given tips on how to wear the season’s hottest trend pieces from stylist to the stars Fiona Milne and had listened to the girls amusing anecdotes including the time Constantine spent hundreds of dollars on a hat for her daughter telling her husband it cost six pounds at Gap and when Woodall called Constantine from Chloe telling her she’d seen an amazing coat she just had to have which she already owned and had hanging in her wardrobe.

Lights were raised in the Southland cinema to reveal 350 panic stricken women fearful the two would strip them bare and parade them around the shopping centre half naked in search of a more appropriate outfit, they’re known for similar acts.

With excited expressions similar to those seen on the face of a child before a treasure hunt, the two took opposite sides of the auditorium to search for frumpy prey to perform mini makeovers on.

Without knowing who I was or that I was there to review the show, Constantine not only headed my direction but froze with her eyes fixed on me and an alabaster manicured finger pointing directly at my stunned face. “Trinny, I’ve got one.”

My heart sank. What do you wear when going to be in the presence of two of the world’s best dressed women who critique outfits for a living and have tongues fiercer then a horsewhip? Add to this the fact that as a fashion writer you completely idolize them and you end up with a week of stressful deliberation, a floor covered in clothing and still nothing to wear! On the morning of the event I settled on a puffed sleeve navy and coral wrap dress, a chunky wooden bangle, yellow frilled handbag and mustard coloured wedge heels (I had to score points for lengthening my legs in those.)

Before I knew it the entire audience’s attention was in my direction, a spotlight flooding my face and a cameraman kneeling at my feet.

“Stand up on your chair,” she said motioning me out of my seat. About to face my fashion fate I did so nervously and luckily in my case the diagnosis was positive.

Heading towards the back of the cinema up one of the aisles and eyeing off a set of identically dressed twins, a phenomenon she was visibly elated by, Woodall looked down at me, her hands shielding her eyes from the spotlight. “Great bra!”

Constantine began an analysis. “What a great dress for your Cello figure.” I was a Cello? All this time I thought I was an hourglass! “Nice tits,” she said approvingly looking down at my ample bust. “Very nice heels, you’ve got great legs.”

I began to feel slightly less nervous that hundreds of heads had swivelled in my direction in a synchronized fashion as though watching a tennis match.

“Am I right in thinking you’ve got generous thighs under there?” I nodded in complete agreement. “Great shaped dress for you, well done!”

I was in complete shock and pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t in a designer daydream. Most women spend their whole lives seeking the approval of their mothers, I’ve spent my adult life wanting Trinny and Susannah to approve my vintage trench coats and my oversized totes.

I couldn’t really delight in the moment as they basically put the outfit together themselves.

I credit them with changing my appearance as much as puberty. After years of feeling uncomfortable I discovered their What Not To Wear book and television series and much like a woman who dumps a toxic boyfriend, I saw the light and threw away everything in my wardrobe that wasn’t right for me. With big boobs, a small short waist and big hips it’s was out with polo necks and pencil skirts in favour of wide V-necks and single button jackets.

I’m not alone in my praise for the pair who teach you how to make the most of what you’ve got, a refreshingly positive message in contrast to an overall mentality that to look good and feel good one must be a size 0. Their no nonsense approach to transforming lives through fashion finds them taking on the roles of both stylist and counsellor, for hundreds of men and women this combination of mentorship has reignited self confidence through the realisation that what you wear can completely change you’re the way you’re perceived and how you feel about yourself.

First teaming up in 1994 to write ‘Ready To Wear’, a weekly column that ran in the UK’s The Daily Telegraph for seven years, Woodall and Constantine discovered a niche female audience hungry for one-on-one styling advice. Using their knowledge of fashion and candid language (‘tits’ and ‘arse’ to them, not boobs and bums), the two make over participants on their shows by clearing their wardrobes of outfits that don’t suit them, regardless of whether they’re ‘trendy’, and give them rules on how to shop for their shapes in the future.

They claim shape is the single most important factor in influencing how you dress.  Their 13 year research into women’s figures culminates in their recently released book The Body Shape Bible which divides women into 12 body shapes. A totally new concept, categories include the Apple (tummy bigger then bobs, flat bum, ok legs), Goblet (broad shoulders, big boobs, narrow hips, long legs) and Skittle (average boobs, slim waist, big thighs, chunky calves).

Their most recent television series, Undress The Nation, saw the two taking over the streets of England with controversial stunts proving their myths such as fitting nearly 1000 women with the right sized bras in a single day, sending a throng of mature aged women into the funky youth shops of London to prove the can infact find things to buy there and temporarily adding female form to a pagan site of worship, the Long Man of Wilmington, to demonstrate various women’s body shapes.

It’s not all about the prodding of others though, they often strip down to their underwear and identify their own flaws on camera and have thrown themselves into confronting situations particularly in Undress The Nation. Self confessed flat chested Woodall wore prosthetic boobs to help understand what it’s like to have a fuller figure when dressing and Constantine transformed herself into a 70 year old to see how difficult it was to shop when mature. Before my ‘undressing’ at the show Woodall lifted her dress and slapped her “saggy arse” to emphasize that even her shape isn’t perfect and Constantine took her underwear off in front of the masses to change into Magic Knickers (a piece from the pairs collection of shapewear.)

I was one of the lucky ones but after recovering from my evaluation four not so lucky audience members were dragged on stage, told where they were dressing “hideously” incorrectly for their shapes and after disappearing behind a white screen, re-emerged miraculously as fashion plates.

Appearing with the pair on Channel 7’s The Morning Show, three Australian ambassadors they’d made over also came out one by one to show audience members what their styling advice can do.

The audience, predominantly made up of middle-aged women, could not get enough of the stylish duo.

“Honesty breeds trust," Constantine has said. "Women are being told left and right that we have got to be skinnier, we've got to be perfect. We refute that. We are about showing women what they can do right now to look and feel their best in their own
bodies."

Through relatively limited exposure (while Trinny and Susannah titles are available at most book stores, their shows are only played here on cable television or in dismal free-to-air timeslots) they’ve acquired a God like status with thousands of devotees swearing by their style advice. 

After the show, adoring followers swamped the girls at their stage door for a spontaneous signing and individual body assessment session (one gamely asked Woodall whether Constantine’s former boyfriend Imran Khan was a great lover, a query to which she replied, “I would imagine so”), I chatted quickly with the girls before they headed back to their hotel for a well deserved rest ahead of a long flight home to the UK that night.

“Oh it’s you!” Constantine said while shaking my hand. “Lucky I was kind to you before then.”

She surprised me the most out of the two. Despite constant talk about the duo’s wealthy backgrounds she was refreshingly down to earth and laid back, the reason why I’m sure she loves Australia so much.

Relatives on her husband’s side live in Queensland and close friends reside in Toorak she tells me (she also told a local newspaper during the week that she much prefers Melbourne to Sydney and could see herself living here.) She’d definitely fit in, loving to let her hair down with mates. The previous night after dinner at Nobu she hosted an impromptu cocktail party in her hotel room that lasted until 4am.

In person her looks are just as unexpected. She is tiny in comparison to what we see on the screen (Woodall attributes this to the fact cameras predominantly show her from her “big tits” up.) Standing next to me in a stunning figure hugging peach knee length dress cut in a deep V with fine gold charm bracelets and beige ankle strap heels, I was certainly more in awe of her appearance then I thought I would be.

I said she looked fabulous. “You like the dress? Oh thank you.” I was surprised by the lack of confidence as after all she spent the beginning of her career working with designer greats Giorgio Armani and John Galliano. 

“See?” said Woodall, implying there had been doubts about the outfit prior to the show. Any talk about the authenticity of their friendship is laid to rest when you meet them. They finish each other’s sentences and behave almost like sisters.

Woodall is more certain of herself and definitely comes across as more of a fashion junkie. Working early on in the marketing fields she eventually turned her love of customizing outfits into a business by selling her own fashion accessories to Harvey Nichols and Harrods. She has an incredible sense of style and is a ‘Best Dressed’ list regular, a trait called upon often by Constantine who labels her as “her personal stylist.”

Standing next to me statuesque in a cream and brown long sleeve print dress, metallic tights, brown wedges, chunky bangles and bold layered necklaces she’s exactly as you see on television. While she too is approachable there’s definitely an air of class about her. It’s impossible not to be intimidated by her enviable slim frame, glossy chestnut hair and flawless skin whether courtesy of her beloved Botox or not.  

Her honesty doesn’t end with her plight to stay youthful. She’s courageously been open about her alcoholism, a battle that lasted 10 years from the time she was 16. As a child she was known for being a prankster and as a result Sarah-Jane was given her famous nickname ‘Trinny’ (after a fictional film about St. Trinian’s boarding school for rebellious girls.) Her past qualifies her to offer advice to the people they perform makeovers on whom most of the time are at traumatic stages in their lives.

It’s a completely surreal moment for me, standing with two women I’ve admired for the longest time for not only transforming hundreds of women around the world but for also transforming me. I tell Constantine that their books have had a tremendous effect on me, have taken the trickery out of knowing how to always look fantastic and have restored confidence in how I feel about my body and myself.

“That’s very sweet. I’m getting emotional!” she said a little overwhelmed (not sure if this was because of my comment or the massive night before.) “That’s the reason why we do this, that’s such great feedback.”

It’s clear they’re still surprised by their impact on women and their overall success. Woodall says the response in Australia has been amazing. They’re popular overseas but have been around for so long that she thinks people are probably sick of them back home. In Australia they’re still fresh she says and people have treated them like rock stars. Constantine joked on stage that next time they visit they’ll bring Scissor Sisters as a support act.

The two, unlike many international celebrities who visit the Australia, seem to have really immersed themselves in the country during their stay and have wanted to learn who we are and what we’re about. When styling on stage, Woodall acknowledged the difficulty Aussie women may have dressing for their body shapes as it’s a warmer climate (it happened to be a 35 degree Melbourne day) and they both had perfected our Aussie twang, well almost, which they humorously added in spurts throughout the show.

“We keep getting asked ‘How do you think Melburnians dress’ and I’m like ‘No fucking clue!’ We’ve only been here five minutes!” Constantine laughed.

“Regardless of it being sunnier here, we find women everywhere get to certain stages in their lives where they lose themselves and this effects how they dress.” Woodall finishes. 

So what now for the women who’ve taken Down Under by storm?

After returning to their families in London (Woodall to husband Johnnie Elichaoff and daughter Lyla, Constantine to husband Sten Bertelsen and children Joe, Esme, Cece) the pair will begin work on their next style book due for release later in the year that will painstakingly take an entire month to shoot. They’ll continue their collaborations with various UK magazines and newspapers and will continue working with online retailer Littlewoods Direct. Their first collection debuted on the website in September 2007 and included pants, coats, dresses, cashmere knitwear and shrugs. Woodall mentioned on stage they’ll expand their brand with a clothing range for children and there’s even talk of the two returning to Melbourne in 2009 for the Spring Racing Carnival. But before any of that they still had the rest of the day off.

After facials at Crown Casino, a favourite pastime for the most girlie girls I’ve ever met, they wanted a signature Australian experience.

“We really want to get to the beach,” said Woodall. “We can only stay a few minutes but we haven’t seen any beaches since we’ve been here. I just have to get there and dip my toes to say I’ve been.”

It was time for a group photograph of everyone who’d worked on the tour and my cue to leave. I said goodbye to the girls and left on cloud nine after having spent time with my fashion guru’s and from my glowing public appraisal.

That afternoon I drove past the beach and imagined the two of them immaculately presented in their trendy outfits, expensive heels thrown effortlessly onto the sand, sashaying through the water with arms linked.

A pear shaped jogger with second-skin black bike shorts, bouncing bumbag and oversized purple t-shirt caught my attention as she ran in my direction. She had better be gone by the time the two of them got there I thought, I don’t think she would have gotten off as lightly as me.