Shopping with HIM

Ladies, it’s common knowledge that one of a man’s least favourite things to do is accompany his girlfriend shopping. And I have to admit that having your boyfriend accompany you shopping is also one of my least favourite things to have happen. You know why? Because it’s not just his shopping experience you are ruining, it is also mine. Here are my reasons.

1. He gets in the way. You may think it’s great to have your man stand around as you try on dress after dress or shoe after shoe, but as he stands there waiting for you, he is often inadvertently in the way of many a serious shopper. After all your complaining that he is just following you around, the guy tries to do the right thing and gives you a bit of distance. Problem is, that moves him closer to the rest of us. The number of times I have been in a tiny shoe store and had to ask a forlorn male to move several times because he is blocking the best shoes as he waits for his girlfriend who is on the other side of the tiny store trying on boots is getting beyond a joke. If you refuse to leave him at home completely, at least let him sit outside when the shop is less than 5 square metres.

2. He slows me down. It may be wonderful to have your own packhorse to trot behind you with your shopping bags as you embark on a few solid hours of pounding the pavement, but your man’s lack of enthusiasm means that his less than spritely meander through narrow streets, and even narrower store aisles, stalls the shopping of the likes of me. Sometimes I don’t have all day to shop and if I need a new dress for drinks that night, I want to get in, power through, and get out. Dodging your dawdling boyfriend hampers that somewhat and only leads to you frustrating hardcore females shoppers as well as your poor man friend.

3. We all know he’s there under duress. If the top two reasons aren’t enough, I have to dodge sulking, snail-paced men knowing they don’t even want to be there. It would be easier to handle asking a guy to scoot left so I can check out the latest Zimmerman if I knew he too was genuinely interested in what was on the shelf, but nine times out of ten, not only is he making shopping less of a pleasure for me, he’s having a bad time whilst doing it! I can’t even justify his being there!

I know that when we women love to shop, we want to share that passion with our boyfriends. After all, if they expect us to give up the best part of a Saturday to watch them play cricket, surely a few hours accompanying us down the high street isn’t too much to ask. But realistically, it’s just not worth the effort. When you’re dragging him from store to store and parading out of the change room in ensemble after ensemble, your boyfriend is going to tell you that you look fabulous in whatever it is you put on for two very simple reasons. One, he wants to get out of there as quickly as possible, and two, he’ll do anything to avoid an argument. As much as we say we want their honest opinion, having your boyfriend tell you he doesn’t like what you have on is somehow one hundred times more offensive than if your best friend tells you the same thing. So knowing that, and knowing that often taking your man shopping results in an argument for those exact reasons, I am asking that boyfriends be left at home, or better yet, let them go to the pub while you shop. Not only will you both get to do what you love, he will think you’re the world’s best girlfriend, and so will I.