Racing Fashion Failure

If your biggest concern when heading to the spring racing is if fascinators really are out of fashion these days, you’re not doing so badly. Spare a thought for those girls who you will undoubtedly see later in the day who think lycra white mini-dresses are okay, that it’s acceptable to remove the shoes that earlier in the day would have been considered an integral part of their ensemble, and that while they’re carrying said shoes, they’ll have a stubby in the other. These girls have much more to worry about.

The spring racing carnival is recognised as the epitome of glamour and style internationally, which is why it’s such a crime to see such fashion faux pas on the field. Fabulous looking women reduce to staggering excuses for ladies, makeup smeared, shoes no longer on feet are truly not acceptable, and here’s why.

1. If ever there is a time to suffer for fashion, now is it. I don’t care how many band-aids you layer over your heels, or how many party feet you need to cushion your soles with, shoes stay on your feet at the races, and while you are leaving the races. No exceptions.

2. Decorate your head. Yes, it’s a bit of a hassle and yes those feathers can end up tickling your forehead, but when else do you have the opportunity to seriously go all out and not be out of place? Embrace every element of this fashion fantasy and add to the glamour with a touch of class on your tresses.  Hats are most certainly order of the day, however despite the whispers, fascinators are still truly acceptable and are often actually a better option. Hats are a great option if you don’t want to think all that much about your hair and you’re not afraid to go above and beyond in the glamour stakes, but if you’re going to hit the town after – and really, who doesn’t? – you’re going to want to lose the hat, and hat hair is never acceptable, especially in a fabulous frock.

3. Dress appropriately! And if you don’t know what is considered appropriate racewear, consult a more knowledgeable source – namely Vogue, or even the advertising campaign for your nearest racecourse. Chances are the ladies in those images won’t be wearing skin tight snakeskin ensembles that barely cover their asses, which I’m saddened to say I witnessed very recently at a major race day in Sydney. Similarly, appropriate underwear must be worn. If said snakeskin ensemble somehow makes its way onto the field despite Ask Bronny’s best advice, don’t add to the humiliation by wearing full briefs that give you a knicker line bad enough to resemble a nappy.

The races are one time we ladies get to flaunt our glamorous selves to the full extent possible, so don’t do the rest of us a disservice by staggering about with a dishevelled flower drooping down your head and a tinny in one hand and your shoes in the other. It is entirely possible to maintain the glamour you created at home for the entire day, and when fashion plays such a major part of a day on the field, why wouldn’t you want to do just that?